I hope you're feeling better. I know it's hard. I'm not sure what to say
to help. I really wish I could.
For what little it's worth, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.
Take care of yourself.
Feelings are strong, but misleading; feelings alone, just by themselves,
have a tendency to grow things out of proportion. The 'heart' needs the
help of the 'brain' to understand where the feelings come from and to see
clearly the real dimensions of what causes them; the subjective perception,
sometimes enveloped in an emotional fog, needs to be helped by the
objective perception that the trained eye of others can detect: that's why
professionals are needed during those times in which we really can't
understand what's happening. It's an adjustment period.
Spike I hope you will feel much better soon :( I often think of you and
really care of you. I am with you with my thoughts and heart. Try to be
brave, and remember that you are not alone, there are people around you who
really care of you and your feelings :)