+ve Vs. -ve

"Cancer" My Chemical Romance

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

I was talking to my mother yesterday, letting her know that once again I put my back out, but this time the doctor has decided that I should have physio.  While we were talking we told me that she had talked to my uncle the other day.  He had the biopsy on his tumor, and there were some 'stray cells' (what ever that means), and this is not good.  As a result he has to go through 30 weeks of Chemo.  He should be okay, but things are not as straight forward as it should be. I was hoping that he would be the first member of the family to survive but I get the feeling that it's going to be one thing after another, after another........ i don't have a good feeling. But I can't dwell on it, I am negative person at the moment and I can't afford to keep thinking and dwelling on the negative stuff instead I have to look at the positive stuff in my life.   Unfortunately trying to find positive stuff is getting harder and harder. 

There is something that Wil Wheaton used to do on his blog occationally called Seven Things.  Basically he challenged everyone to write Seven Things that have made them happy over the last week.  This is something he suggests we should do either daily or weekly.  I try and do it weekly but isn't always easy, some weeks I can't get to seven, some weeks I'm lucky if I can get one thing, let alone seven.  So in the aim to get me thinking more positively, here is my Seven Things for this week.

1. My Flat Mates
2. I have just bought the last three book in the Sandman series
3. Little A and his Mother, came for dinner today to celebrate Little A's 1st Birthday
4. I made a victoria sponge and it came out okay
5. I had a good meeting with my supervisor, M, and made me feel better.
6. Have just bought Season 4 of Deep Space Nine and look forward to watching it

tags: fears  health  family  update