I'm not what you think I am
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The Gay Man Vs The Overzealous Christian!

posted Mon 24 Mar 08

Recently something happened to one of my young people that sickened me to the core of my being.  I'm still disgusted by it and it's been a couple of weeks since it's happened.

This young person is one of the sweetest lads you will ever met.  He's so gentle and funny, and I've got a lot of time for him.  He has just turned 17.  Over the past few months he's been struggling with something, I guessed what it was but I didn't let on, it was something he needed to do.  Eventually he did.  He came out of the closet.  Yes that's right one of my young people is gay.  This didn't surprise me at all.  He's happy and currently has a boyfriend.

What sickened me however his how his church has treated him.   He is a member of a local Methodist church and has been since he was a child.  This church, when they discovered he came out, decided that he was no longer a child of God and shunned him from the community and they are even giving his parents a hard time saying that they don't believe in God enough for this atrocity to happen.

I'm Catholic, I believe in God.  I however find this reaction of these 'Christians' very hard to reconcile.  They  are doing God's job.  It is not our place to judge.  We are here to be good Christians, to accept people for who they are, spread God's word.  We are not here to condemn and judge.   These Christians who condemn and judge are saying that they are better than God, they know more than God.  The New Testament God I grew up to know is one of kindness and forgiveness, wanting only the best for us.  I know many gay people, who in today's world doesn't! They have tried to be straight but it's detrimental to them and it goes against who they are.  Isn't God all about us being who we are, allowing us the freedom for us to be who we are.  Okay, I don't want to be gay, and the whole sexual act (weather lesbian or gay) does not appeal to me, but that goes not mean I'm going to be mean to them, or stop talking to them or stop treating them as a child of God, someone of whom God created.  Why would I?  

The Catholic Church does take a negative gay line, which I struggle with.  I understand it though. It's not that the church is against gay men but against the sexual act.  This is because in the Catholic Church (and I think I've written about this before) the sexual act has a number of purposes but one of them is that it leads to the creating of Children.  If a straight couple find that they can not have children they can actually have their marriage annulled.  This is now serious the Catholic Church is about the creating of children, this is also why they are against birth control because you are stopping that act of creating children.   “The Church believes that sexual intercourse was ordained by God and designed exclusively for a husband and wife.  Marriage is the best, most sacred, and most efficient union of man and woman, because God created marriage.  It’s a sign of the permanent, faithful and hopefully fruitful covenant that’s made on the day that the man and woman make their vows and exchange consent.  Human sexual activity is designed to promote love (unity) and life (procreation).  And whenever that formula is altered or divided, the Church believes that sin enters the equation….. So married sex is considered holy and sacred when it focuses on the unity of the couple as husband and wife – two human people who deserve dignity, respect, communication, honesty, fidelity, and compassion.  To the Church, human sexuality isn’t an end but a means to an end – the greater unity between husband and wife and the possibility of new life.” Catholicism for Dummies.  So since it’s the gay sexual act that is in question here, shouldn’t we condemn the act but not the person.  Is that not what Christ taught us.

I found this and saw it to pretty much agree with what I have just said, but said better than I ever could.  "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." This is another counterfeiting of the Scriptures many have tried to use to shame us for what we do in his name. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is not speaking judging. Let me explain.

Using the KJV this time, in John 8:1 - 11 scribes and Pharisees had caught a woman in the act of adultery (the woman commonly referred to as the prostitute) and told Jesus who was teaching in the temple that the Mosaic Law required she be stoned to death. Trying to make an opportunity of this to trick Jesus that they might accuse Him, they, with stones in hand, asked Jesus what He says about the Law. After Jesus tried to ignore their repeated questioning, He told them "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." One by one each man dropped his stone and walked away.

Jesus was not arguing with the judgment. Nor was Jesus arguing the law nor the woman's guilt. Jesus was arguing with our right to execute the woman. Once all the men had dropped their stones Jesus confronted the woman and asked her if any of the men were still there to condemn her. When she answered "No man, Lord", Jesus told her that neither did He - He forgave her of her sin. He did not excuse the sin of adultery/prostitution, he forgave her of it. All that is sinful before forgiveness is still sinful after forgiveness. Not only was Jesus not afraid to call a sin a sin, He was not afraid to call a sinner a sinner. He even reminded her of the sin of adultery/prostitution by telling her "Go and sin no more."

The point of this as applicable to this article? Jesus did not argue the act of judging the chosen behaviour of the adulteress/prostitute.

Some have told us we should be more tolerant. "Tolerance" has become quite probably the most abused and misused word in the English language. We will not situationally redefine or conditionally apply His Word to suit political correctness, cultural tolerances, modern ethics and false religions or even to avoid invading the comfort zone of Christians. Jesus spent three days in Hell so you and I would not have to spend one moment there! For too long, well-meaning clergy have pabulum fed the people with watered down Scriptures to avoid invading the comfort zone. We will not do that. We love you too much to feed you lies or less-than-truths. It is people who do who pull people away from the CHRIST of Christianity. Practicing the Christian faith and what is expected of it is being very  intolerant ... of sin ... even our own by His  Word, not yours or mine, by embracing the sinner but not  embracing the sin; by helping the sinner, even ourselves, out of bondage to the sin by loving him/her enough to tell the Truth. On Judgment Day, Jesus will send the unforgiven sinner into the fiery pits of Hell in a heartbeat. Now that  is intolerance. Of sin. And Righteously so. He further will not excuse any single sin. In the example of the adulteress/prostitute, Jesus forgave her sin but did not  excuse it. Worth repeating, Jesus did not argue the judgment, the act of judging nor did He argue the law. He argued our right to execute the woman. Adultery/prostitution is just as sinful now, after Jesus forgave the woman of it, as it was before He forgave her. He will forgive us all our sins -- past, present, future -- if we are humble enough to ask believing. But He will not  excuse any  sin. All behaviour that is sinful before forgiveness is still sinful after. More intolerance. And righteously so.”
http://www.capalert.com/judgenot.htm

Anyway… the young person's mother really likes me because I have done some research to find some gay friendly churches, because this young person, despite his churches reaction, does not want to give up his faith or his relationship with God.   Now how powerful is that!  In the meantime I had sickened and horrified at how this young man has been treated.  Let’s stop condemning people and judging people and ostracising them.  Let us say that yes they have committed a sin, but let us reach out our hands and embrace them.  Let us say that they are not bad people and at the end of the day it’s between them and God and the relationship that they have.

 

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1. BlackPhi left...
Tue 25 Mar 08 4:29 pm :: http://blackphi.blog-city.com/

It's just as well you were there, and willing to make the effort to show a more Christ-like approach. It's important the young man and his mother were able to see grace expressed by a member of the Church.

It's a fundamental part of Christianity that we are all sinners in need of God's forgiveness and God's grace. To treat a person in such a way suggests they are doing a "Your sins are worse than mine" game, which is simply wrong. How would they feel if they were treated like this?

I hope he settles well in his new church.


2. Spacefrog left...
Tue 25 Mar 08 8:05 pm

This is just appalling. It still shocks me that this kind of thing happens in this country and this day and age.

It's not just a case of judging when you shouldn't judge. People like that seem to treat homosexuality differently from any other 'sin', without any sound reason I've been able to determine. I bet if he'd been having just as much premarital sex, but was straight, the church would have happily turned a blind eye. If they reacted as strongly to other sins as they did to his coming out then I daresay the church would soon have no members!

You know I won't completely agree with you on this -- as far as I'm concerned there's nothing whatsoever wrong with homosexual acts and this lad should be reassured of that -- but I'm glad you're there to give him support.


3. Darwin left...
Wed 26 Mar 08 4:48 am

Well said, Spike. I'm happy you were there for this lad. I think that our Christian churches have room for a lot of improvement regarding our behaviour with these members of our communities. Christ was accused by some people of sharing time with "sinners" (at least in the eye of the beholders, who often misjudge); Jesus appoached sinners to make them better human beings and save them too -- and it would not have been any easier if He had stayed away from them. You are very right about judging. We just can't. We would need to see inside the soul. Christ was able to see the truth about the pharisees that he called hypocrites. In fact in the Gospels one can find many many words against these hypocrites, and in contrast: none about homosexuals. My conclusion is that being a hypocrite is much worse.


4. Spike left...
Wed 26 Mar 08 9:21 am

Spacefrog, I think you misunderstand, I only don't like the sexual act because it's not what I'm into, not because of my faith. I really couldn't care less how people sleep together, I just don't want that sort of thing to happen to me. It just doesn't do anything for me. If this young lad finds that he likes being gay and all that it entails well so be it, I'm here for him and will help him anyway I can including getting him the appropriate contraception (bad word when your talking about gay men! But you know what I mean).


5. Spacefrog left...
Wed 26 Mar 08 6:56 pm

Apologies for the misunderstanding Spike. When you talked about the official Church line being to condemn the act but not the person I thought you were saying that was your view too, I didn't notice your other comment about struggling with that line.


6. Spike left...
Wed 26 Mar 08 7:03 pm

don't worry about it. I just need to write things a bit more clearly!