MrDan and I have been talking tonight and with his permission I am going to share some of our conversation and expand on it.
We started off by talking about S and his reaction when I talk about other guys I find cute. Such a different reaction to N. Then we talked about how easy (or not easy in our case) it was to read the opposite sex. The part I want to write about though is our conversation about the L word and the T word.
Dan: maybe you can tell if they're interested. but you can't tell if you can trust them
Dan: or if they're gonna change their mind in a few days!
Spike: mmmmm, that horrible T word again. I don't think the L word is the problem for people really, I personally think it's the T word that most people have issues with but hide behind the L word.
Dan: I think you have a point
Spike: The L word is something people make a big deal about. It's not hard to feel that way about anyone. Sometimes I think I do Love S, but then I don't want to put pressure on myself by using that word, but people do use it too easily so people become scared of it.... does that make sense.
Dan: yes, it does
So we talked about Trust and Love. Know we all know I have issues with Trust, and I don't do love, but I know I have very strong feelings for S, sometimes I do think about using the L word, but then I don't.
People who have commitment issues, they usually say that it's because they don't love the person enough. Surely it's more about trusting the other person though. Trusting the fact they won't hurt you, trust in the fact they will always be there for you, trust that they won't go astray. Love is a big word and covers a lot, but with Love comes Trust and I think more people really have an issue with trust than with love. Some people can say it's easy to fall in love and I think that is true, but it's a lot harder to say that you trust that person. I know I have fallen for some guys in my time but would I trust them... no I wouldn't. That's what society has an issue with theses days, knowing who to trust and who not to trust.
Love: n warm affection, benevolence; sexual passion; sweetheart.
To have a relationship you need both love and trust. Some can do one and not the other while some can't do either. I have love, but I don't have trust. Unless things change I will be a lonely person for a long time to come.
I reckon there are two basic approaches to Trust. There's the more
childlike 'all or nothing', which is probably a good way to approach God. I
think most of us, though, as we go through life, get rather more cautious
with ordinary, fallible people - varying from 'one step at a time' to 'no
way, José'.