major update

I know  I haven't posted for a while.  It's not because I don't want to nor is it because I have nothing to post about.  I seam to have tonnes in my head.  I think it's I just don't know where to start.

Work

Still driving me nuts.  We recently advertised for sessional workers, really hoping a male would come forward but it wasn't to happen.  Three females came forth, only one I feel is appropriate and yesterday she phoned that she had another job.  So I'm still looking.  We're meant to be re-running the advert in the paper but that hasn't happen.  My co-worker H is driving me nuts.  There seams to be one rule for her and then everyone else has to obey to the real reals.  H doesn't lock up after herself, yesterday she had sickness and diahorriah and wouldn't go home or close up, she instead handles babies and food.  Money has also been going missing from the til on her watch.   Nothing will happen about any of this.  I like the girl I do, I just think we need to have someone else working along side her who can enforce the rules we have here with herself and her customers.  I go through stages of having nothing to do or too much to do.  I can't have a nice easy continuous work.  I just don't know what to do about it all.  I have to work out if I really do like this job or not and if it' where I really want to be or do I want to find another job, and if I do, do I want to move.  This brings me nicely onto my next subject heading.

Love

No I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have strong feelings for a guy I spend an awful lot of time with.  I've mentioned this guy before, but if I do get a new job and end up moving it means moving away from him and I don't want to loose him.  I would never tell him what I feel for him because I don't believe he feels the same way but, cor blimey govener, I wish he would kiss me.

Friends

I have lots of people I know where I live now, mostly volunteers from work, mostly female but would I class any of them as friends who I would talk to when I'm feeling like shite, I don't think so.  It's amazing how many people I know now, and how many people I get along with but to talk to them, I mean really talk, I don't have anyone.  There are some days where I meet a lot of people, be around a lot of people and I feel more alone than ever before.  I don't understand why.

Faith

Still as strong as ever.  Have gotten very involved at my local church and got them thinking about the community feel they have there.  When I got there I was told by a number of people how vibrant and alive the church is.  To me it feels like it's dying, it's nothing like the feel of my old parish.  But I'm trying to change that slowly.  Start small grow big, people say.  I've started  big and getting bigger.  It's exhausting.  Oh well.

Music

Can't stop listening to My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade.  I love this album.  Have got a new 'learn guitar' CD and it's covers fingering and picking (if you just sniggered, you have a rude mind and need to go clean it!).  Haven't touched any of my other instraments lately, my hearts just not in it. (again if you laughed, go clean your  mind!).

Toska

Is doing well.  Hasn't grown at all, but then I knew he probably wouldn't.  Still eating well.  He loves being outside on hot days, but if he gets too cold he does like to hide under my legs and get heat from my body.  That's when I know it's time to go back in.  Although with all this rain we've had lately, I've not had him out of my room, but he thinks that's too cold and wants back into his warm home.  He did get carrot stuck to his head the other day and he wouldn't let me pick it off so I had to give him a bath.   He really does like his baths and he loves to blow bubbles in the water!