Oops

I had to write an email yesterday.  An email to N about what I was thinking about work and stuff.  I had to be as honest as I could.  As I wrote the email I broke down in tears.  I cried so hard, I cried like I needed to do in a long time but haven't been able to.  I didn't feel fantastic afterwards or anything.  But what makes it worse is the fact my flatmate S came in for lunch, I was in my room.  I forgot he was coming home or maybe I didn't know, I don't know anymore.  But he heard me and asked me about it this evening.  It's so hard to talk about my feelings.  He's male and I have to live with him.  Not sure it's the best thing that I let him hear.  Yesterday time disappeared.  I had no idea what time I broke down, I did know he was in because I became dehydrated do I needed a drink, and he was in the front room.  There's me with puffy eyes.  I got my drink and went back up to my room.  If I knew he was in I wouldn't have cried, I really wouldn't.  I would have written the email at a different time..... I would have made a lot of different choices yesterday.

Why did he have to come home yesterday? 

tags: flatmates  feelings  fears  life