it's been a big week.

I think that if you have opened to other people it is a good idea if you give them a chance to help you while they have that good intention. But you should teach them how you wish them to help you.

As for your first paragraph, let me quote some excerpts for my comments:

"I hate people knowing so much about me on this level" If they didn't know, could they really be of any help?

"What I don't get as well is why people care?" Maybe for the same reason that you also care about people.

" I am nothing" You know that's not true.

"I don't do anything fantastic" Nobody expects you to be Wonder Woman. You do normal things, nice normal things that we love about you.

"I sit and mope" For now maybe, but you are not like that.

"I don't accomplish anything" Not true. You have accomplished many things (I witness the ones online and I think they are a token of some very nice effects of your actions). But even if what you say were true, you would still be a creature of God, one of Jesus' little sisters in which his love can be expressed and his power shown.

"I am not important enough for people to care" Yes you are important.

"I just don't understand why these people want to support me" Because they see something in you that this depression stage doesn't allow you to see clearly by yourself. They know your potential. They want to see you leave some of your problems behind. They want you in action again, with your contribution with other people to make this a slightly better world.

"S never even thought about it when I asked them if he was willing to support me just instantly said yes, N hesitated but then said yes. Both H and L were fine with me calling them. I don't get it. Why? Why would they want to support a fucked up person such as me, I honestly don't get it" Because you are not a fucked up person even if you feel like one during this temporary stage it won't last because you are not not not a fu person! It's only chemistry and physics of the brain that need a little help with its configuration, a time to readjust and you will be back to where you want to be.

"I don't have people around me who care for me" But I think those four persons whose initials you mention -- they want to be that people. I'm just a figment of the imagination but if I were real I would care for you too. ;)

"I'm just a laugh and the person people turn to when they want to feel better" Wow, and you thought you didn't accomplish much? That's huge. You have made me feel better too. If you hadn't started and mantained that game section I would be depressed many times too. But that game section is in fact a very good anti-depressant at least for me.

"I don't have people care for me, care if I'm feeling okay, care if I'm feeling crap, I don't have people around me who want to know what I'm thinking. " So I guess we come to your blog because we like the ads.

" I'm just not that sort of person." Or you don't feel like one even if you are.

People care about you because you're you. Gnomic perhaps, but other people have a positive view of who you are.