Going backwards

So those of you who have been reading my blog know the struggle I had at the tail end of the year concerning food.  I struggled to have an appetite, it wasn’t my fault that I lost my appetite but it was my fault that it took me so long to get the problem sorted.  I quite liked the weight loss.  Anyway, part of the whole not eating thing was that when I did eat I ended up in discomfort, pain and feeling very sick and on some occasions actually throwing up (throwing up food that hasn’t been digested in 12 hours is really grim!).   So eventually I went to the doctors needed to get this sorted, not really sure what to do they made me keep a food diary and keep going back every week so they could keep an eye on me.  They did give me some anti-sickness medication which rocked!!!

Just before Christmas they took my off the anti-sickness medication.  I was fine with that and my system seamed to cope…… or so I thought.  About 10 days ago I started to feel sick when I ate.  I didn’t think much about it, after all there is that sickness bug going around but the discomfort and pain started to come back.  I have started to struggle to eat, however the problem is I get really hungry and I need to eat, but I know once I eat I will feel sick.  Yesterday was particularly bad as I actually thought I would throw up, I didn’t though.  Today I went to the doctors, they can’t put me any further up the waiting list for the abdominal specialist, but they have issued me with more anti-sickness medication, which I am grateful for, they do take a while to kick in though.  A couple of days.

As a woman going to the doctors though, even with everything that has been going on, because I have felt sick, the doctor asked ‘could you possibly be pregnant!’.  Why is it as soon as you say you feel sick doctors like to ask if you’re pregnant!  It’s unfair, but dem the breaks I guess.

I can’t wait to find out what’s going on with my insides, I need this resolved.  I don’t want to put my weight back on at all, and I have enjoyed the weight loss but I miss food, I miss eating, I miss the enjoyment of food.  I hate the fact that each meal time becomes like a battlefield.  Me verses food, and it’s a battle I am tired of fighting but I continue doing.  I hope it all get resolved soon.

tags: health  frustration  

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