I am going to get very drunk after work with a friend and between us we will write a text asking S out. I am hoping he will reply there and then. If not I will drink more, be very ill on Saturday and then hide out Sunday. I might do that anyway.
I know he'll say no, but I just need to hear him say it. For my own piece of mind I need to hear him say it.
Spike, I don't see anything good that can possibly come out of this strange
plan. Sounds like self-sabotage and pre-blaming of S no matter what his
answer is.
Go for it Spike. One way or another at least you'll be able to move on.